Who am I anyway?

The kind of person I am determines my motivations.

I am the kind of person who wants to find out why something works and what is behind it. When I discovered that I could explore my dreams, I explored them to death, doing what I liked, floating, flying, jumping far, going to outer space, asking pertinent questions, interacting, changing it, enjoying myself, and also exercising my willpower and courage to escape restrictive situations to discover new and creative venues within my own mind.

When faced with a secret, such as what creates our dreams, I investigated deeply and analytically, questioning, probing, finding out all I could about the inner mind within all of us that lives off our memories secondhand and has an intense and extraordinary ability to manipulate our multi-dimensional thought for simulation purposes to subliminally influence us unless we stop and make our acquaintance, something I had the fearlessness and boldness to do.

As a baby, I didn’t cry as much. I was accepting of my circumstance, willing to wait and observe and adapt as needed. I am resilient and good at making the best of my situation to change it to benefit me in a way I see fit. I do not get frustrated when faced with a barrier. I find several extra ways to approach the problem and I try each and every one of them in turn. As a software developer, I was lucky to have this quality, this creative inclination drove me through many seemingly intractable problems.

When I get to know someone I have a gift or a curse to see straight through them, into their eyes, into their essence. I have intuition about what makes them tick, and either I admire it deeply or I am somewhat taken aback and repulsed by it. It’s rare if I find someone who falls into the former. Originally I did not recognize the true significance of that, how much it means for me and how I feel connected, but next time I will not make such a mistake.

I will give so much of myself to help others with their emotional struggles throughout life. It’s enough to go through everyday challenges and not have to deal with mind-numbing mental health issues of extraordinary overwhelm. As someone who has gone through devastating despairing isolating depression with a lack of hope, apathy, and loss of energy, as well as elation, highs…

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