The Road Back to You

I lost connection with you somewhere along the way.

Was it the move? The disconnect from everyone immediately there — again?

Is it this age old tale + this not so platonic cuddling?

Where are you?!?! I think I can rely on you and then poof these changes are more than disconcerting.

Could he love me? Would he? Does he? What should I bring up or should we continue this awkward mirroring dance, dance, dance. And yet it’s more dynamic and the story is not over yet!!

I do not feel I can trust you. I keep my emotions at bay to pursue after things that I know still are empty.

What?!?! Do you get off on withholding? Sure feels that way. But much can I trust those?

Roots upon roots upon layers, I relive these moments but in different contexts, when will I ever learn?

I look you in the eyes + I know. It is the attention you seek because you are not so deeply rooted and/or neither am I.

Webs of drunken egos weave this story and their plurality becomes the problem. Unspoken feelings and inter-connected bullshit aka festering wounds rubbing up against one another.

And you who are supposedly orchestrating it all. Give me a deeper glimpse there I am too skeptical for my own good.

These circumstances are eating away at my trust, my belief and I sit there watching them, powerless with my human knowledge to do much but wait & see.

Am I manipulating this? Probably a bit, though I do really want to know some.

Thirty-four. If you want this time together, humor me and my human-ness, I need a more sure thing. And I am talking months not years. Just FYI God.

— — — — -

“Everyone cannot meet you where you are. Accept that with love, compassion & understanding” -Alex Elle

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